Mexican or Italian?

By Mark Matteson


I had been in Dallas, Texas for four days conducting seminars with a fine group of successful contractors.  Sales training.  We covered all aspects of the sales cycle: suspects, prospects, qualifying, writing proposals, asking for the sale and following up.  I had come back with a slight southern drawl.  I had learned several important bits of southern philosophy.  #1, the difference between a Yankee and a “Damn Yankee?”  A Yankee is one who visits, as I had.  A “Damn Yankee” is one who stays.  I was just a Yankee.  I also learned the plural of “You’ all” (pronounce YAWL) is “All-YAWL!”   Good stuff.  I love Texans.  They just might be the most polite people in the United States.


My wife picked me up at the airport.  She had been in Court Reporting for 18 years.  It was a fine career but things had changed; Margins shrinking, a glut of lawyers in Seattle, increased competition from Technology (the unspeakable, being replaced by video!) and of course, motherhood.  She was a fine reporter.  It’s the toughest kind of mental work.  You had to be perfect, capture every word.  She worked for one of the largest and most prestigious firms in Seattle.  But no one could have accused her of being a salesperson.  Her technical competence assured repeat business.

As we drove away from Sea-Tac airport in late afternoon on that beautiful Indian Summer day, a smile appeared in the corner of her mouth, like the gentle wiggle of a cat’s tail just before it pounces on its prey.  “How was your flight?”  “Oh, fine.  I read most of the way.”  I looked out the window as she drove.  As we came to a stop at the light, she turned to me, lowered her voice an octave and in a sultry, soft tone said, “Are you hungry?”  Now this was a loaded question.  I am always hungry!
(Remember Jaws?)  “Starving!”  “Well,” she said, almost in a whisper, “I could make dinner, and then do the dishes, and I wouldn’t really get to hear how your trip was.  So…I was just wondering, would going out to Mexican be good, or Italian be better?  Which would you prefer?”  Without hesitation or any real thought, I said, “Italian!”  It wasn’t until I was dipping the bread in the olive oil, I realized what she had done to me!

In sales, I teach the “Alternative Advance” or “Choice of Yeses.”  When it’s time to ask for the sale, you offer the prospect two choices, the second one being your personal preference and the one that is also in the prospect’s enlightened self-interest.  That is exactly what Debbie had done to me.  She knew I would choose Italian if followed by the word “Better.”  As far as I know, she has never attended a sales training class, (mine or anyone else’s).  This proves a point I have long contended, women are smarter than men in many areas.  (Do you know the difference between men and government bonds?  Bonds mature!)

What was particularly powerful about this experience was I never knew it was happening to me.  It was sooo smooth, sooo seamless.  Man, she was good (or should I say woman, she was good?)  Sales are like a four-legged chair, Trust, Relationship, Competence and Timing.  Deb understands this.   In this case, Timing was the biggest factor.  I was hungry, therefore, near helpless.  I never had a chance.

Remember the next time you need to close an important sale.  Mexican or Italian, which would you prefer?

Look for the causes of your success.  If someone tells you that you were great, say, ‘Thank you.  Why do you say that?’ and listen.  Only then will we know the common denominators of success.


Mark Matteson is an inspiring speaker and the author of the international bestseller, Freedom from Fear. For over 20 years, Mark’s positive humor and peak-performance tools have impacted organizations around the globe, igniting personal and professional success for tens of thousands of people. 

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